Yes, even celebrities need to be held accountable!

Social media is a dumpster fire!

In recent weeks, I’ve seen commentary and posts reminding me there’s very little learning and educating on these platforms. People prefer echo chambers or no context. Across platforms, I’ve had “discussions” about accountability for those who are allegedly abusive towards their current or former partners. Many people will take one article or post at face value. Some folks think being found guilty of violence (in any form) is enough, and all is forgiven. 

But those of us in the gender-based violence movement understand that accountability is a long-term process that doesn’t stop when the person is found guilty. Accountability is a huge part of restorative and transformative justice and community accountability. Accountability will look different within each situation, but at its core, accountability for people who abuse must include:

  1. Acceptance of the process. The process of healing harm is long and deep. Those who are must be okay with this and what it takes. 

  2. Ownership of actions. The person must take responsibility for their harm and the results of their actions. 

  3. Apologizing to those harmed. The apology must be authentic and directed towards the primary person harmed (victim(s)) and secondary (often those who are supporting the primary person, such as family, friends, and community members).

  4. Changed actions and behaviors. There is no accountability without change occurring. 

Notice I did not include punishment. Punishment does not change behaviors and is a temporary solution. However, there should be consequences. Here is an excellent video by anti-violence activists Kiyomi Fujikawa and Shannon Perez-Darby on building accountable communities. 

Only when we genuinely hold those who harm responsible will we all be safe in our communities, and healing can begin.


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An inexhaustive list of things someone experiencing abuse thinks about during the day.

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We can’t end domestic violence until we fix wage disparities